| DEPRESSED AGAIN |
[Oct. 24th, 2006|02:13 pm] |
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| |  blah | ] |
I know i wrote a couple months ago about being depressed. well, things started going good. i started getting the training for the supervisor position at work, Joe and I were heading somewhere, kids were doing great. Then all of a sudden, the floor fell out from beneath me. Joe's dad passed away from a brain anyerusm. He then started pulling away from me saying that he thinks that I don't want to be with him anymore. It had nothing to do with me handling him needing to be there for his family, but the fact that he thinks I don't want to be with him anymore. Its not that I don't want to be with him anymore, I'm just tried of playing this damn games of well, i want us to get married so here is a promise ring but nothing come about the whole promise thing. Its like he is 29 and has no idea where he wants his relationships to go. Its easier for him to just go to work and put all his time into there instead of makeing any kind of plans with me. So, he decided to take time for himself, him needing space. And thats where it stands today. Now, in the past couple of weeks, I have been going out to a country bar with my friends from work. Having fun line dancing. In all of that with Joe, I actually meet someone. He is 22 years old, in the airforce stationed at Fort Mcquire airforce base. So, for the past two weeks me and Chris(thats his name) have gotten to know one another pretty damn good. He actually makes me feel like I'm back in high school where i really don't have to give a damn about things or put to much into thinking about my next move. IT FELT SO DAMN GOOD TO BE CAREFREE AGAIN!!!!!!!! Then came today, he had to go back to Georgia(his hometown)b/c come Nov. 1 he will be leaving for Guam for 3 years. Talk about depressed!!!! MY FUCKING LIFE SUCKS. And thats not all, yesterday I went into work, and was faced with a stupid ass write up(documented counseling). Some bullshit about takeing a break in an unauthorized break area. Since I have the code to the door on friday i was in there for "one hour" or so they say. Funny part is I tell them the truth on why i was in the office and it seemed like Chad or Laura didn't believe a word i was saying like they were implying that i was in there to steal or something. so, that shot my supervisor position to hell. I really need to get the hell out of there. I think I have done enough rambiling on about my life so im going to go get ready for WORK!!!!!!!!. |
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| I'm feeling depressed |
[Sep. 1st, 2006|06:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
I don't know why but for the past couple of weeks i have been feeling very depressed. i haven't been acting like myself or anything. its kinda scarying me. i already went to the doctor and he put me on a mirgrane medicine and zoloft. i don't think the zoloft is working. and i really don't want to go back to the doctors for him to put me on more medication. i think alot of it has to do with stressing out about finding a car, work and my kids. they are stressing me out b/c their "father" got married last weekend. so, now they feel neglected by him. and i feel depressed so i really havn't been there for them like i should be. well, let me go b/c i'm at the shitty job.
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| BIG TRANSFER!!!!!!!!!!! |
[Aug. 19th, 2006|04:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
Okay so I'm putting in for this big ass transfer at work for a company that i really can't stand working for in the first place. I'm trying to get the job as supervisor of housekeeping at stratford. only problem is that its with crothall. i hate that company now as an ordianry housekeeper. so why would i do it your asking? Well, the money is great. I can be bringing home anywhere from 1200-1500 every too weeks. that would be enough for me to move into the townhouse that i have been wanting, get a car, and have money for my bills. i wouldn't be living pay check to paycheck anymore. plus the benefits are better than those i have now. the hours would be the same except for no weekends. my kids would love that b/c they would be able to have time with mommy on weekends. So all these positives outway the negatives ones. Joe thinks the idea is great but of course i figured he would b/c now he will probably be asking for me to get a transfer up there with him soon. My boss's here think I have a very good chance of getting it but are unhappy that i won't be working for them anymore, i will be one of them. I don't know but for some strange reason i'm kinda happy and excited to be makeing this move.
Well, gotta run.
BYE |
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| WOW!!!!!!!!! |
[Aug. 15th, 2006|12:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
Wow!! This is really cool. I'm totally into this whole livejournal thing. Thanks to Diana(purplepixie) for giving me the insight to this journal. Okay so things today have started off pretty good but I haven't made it to work yet. I don't know what it is about that place but everyday I seem to hate it more and more. I keep trying to get out but it seems like I'm stuck there. I have been working there for almost 3 years, and it seems like the longest 3 years of my life. On friday they fired a worker name James Parker. Some stupid shit about his calling out. Now, I'm the one with the most senority and it kinda sucks. But for some strange reason i don't know why it sucks. Okay, so enough about the "hell hole"(thats what I'm going to call it), on to my love life. Buffolo is getting serious to the point that it scares me. Why does it scare me? Because I don't think I'm good enough for him. I look at him and I think that he should be with someone who doesnt have kids, a good career job(not housekeeping), with some stability in their life. Something that right now I don't have. Little does he know that I have this fear. I wouldn't dare bring it up to him b/c he would say that he loves being with me and my kids. He truly is an awesome guy when it comes to my kids. They actually have taken a liking to him more that I thought.
Well, gotta run. Hopefully, I can chat later. |
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